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| A bad start to Monday |
| 10.30.05 (3:19 pm) |
Last week we finally closed a project that had taken almost 4 years of my working life to put together. Everything was signed off and we can now look towards getting people to start using it.
I had a quiet weekend, something that I am not accustomed to. Stressful, busy weekends are what I am so used to. I was already looking forward to a slow week since the end of the fasting month is near and everyone is off on Raya holidays.
Well, my expectation of a quiet week was shattered this morning.
Had a "discussion" with my mum. She was in one of her moods. Thats a problem when living with your parents. Its not really your home though they say it is. Most of the time you are merely complying to a set rule which is imposed on you.
Well, I'm getting tired of minding my way in a never-ending mine-field. I'm getting tired of having to do the chores of my other siblings while they run their own lives away from home. I'm also getting stressed out balancing the needs of my parents and my own family.
It's really funny but no-one has asked me how I felt. It has been their feelings and needs coupled with my ability to accomodate them. Yet at the end of the day, I am the one going to bed with worries and thoughts that need to be resolved.
Plus, there are custom clashes. Wifey is chinese, while I am an Iban. There are culture clashes. Clashes which I try my best to catch and deal with.
It is due to this very fact that my mum is having problems. She needs to know that some things cannot be reverse since its the very make-up of that individual. Even if changes are needed, time needs to be traded for that change.
It is something that I hope my mum would give to Wifey; if not I may need to make a hard decision soon.
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| Controlled Insanity - Natural Human Behaviour |
| 10.18.05 (2:27 pm) |
Everyone has a measure of insanity naturally wired into them.
Sanity is a form of controlled insanity.
Basically, one has a handle or maintained-control on their insanity, to the extent that it looks like rational thinking and proper choices.
Why are people more succumable to going "crazy" then going "sane"? It probably because our minds are on a constant edge of tipping over into insanity, its a state where we lose our handle on our insanity. It a condition where we determine that amount of insanity that we wish to show.
Why as children are we more willing to take risks? Why as adults we tend to control ourselves?
Why as children we have more fun? Why as adults we have controlled fun?
As children we throw caution to the air but as adults we learn to put a cap on "unacceptable" behaviour. A cap that at times stiffle our ability to innovate and create. It kills our imagination.
Imagination is a form of rampart, wild thinking, that kicks logic and rational out the window. It also allows our minds to innovate. It is a controlled release of insanity.
Sit and watch those around you. What may be improper behaviour or weird thinking could be in fact true in the mind of the doer. In their minds it is perfectly sane, while we perceive it to be totally insane. This shows that on our part, our level of control over our insanity is high while theirs is lower. We have a lower threshold for acts deemed insane, while they may have a higher tolerance to insane acts of nature.
So its all about the control mechanism that we imposed on our minds. It is truly a state of mind.
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| Where is the bonus? |
| 10.17.05 (2:29 pm) |
Found out yesterday that me and my mates won't receive our bonuses ,like every other civil servant in Malaysia, in October but instead will receive it in November. That means I will really have to save up for my up coming trip back to Penang.
Well, my tv is in the shops but since it is still undedr warranty it'll be fixed for free. Lesson here, keep your warranty cards in a safe place. I thought the tv had a one year warranty but instead it had a two year warranty. Phew, almost went out and bought a new tv.
I'm installing Windows XP via Virtual PC on my iBook. Why? Just to play games. Finding Mac games here is near impossible.
It's funny watching another OS booting up from within another one. Kind of like watching another state of mind playing within your mind. Much like most of us when we deal with reality. All of it is a state of mind.
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| Not another gadget I want - iPod Video |
| 10.13.05 (3:32 pm) |
Apple and video
Apple's new video iPod was unveiled yesterday, but the $299-$399 device is just part of the story. Apple's trying to extend its leadership role in digital music into video on several fronts. The company upgraded its iTunes service to sell video content for $1.99 apiece. Disney's ABC is providing television shows, including the popular "Desperate Housewives." Lost in the hubbub was news that its iMac desktop computer is morphing into a home-entertainment center to play videos, and now comes with a TV-like remote control.
Here's an interesting article commenting on it.
For months now, I've been enjoying my iPod Mini. Then they tanked it and came out with the iPod Nano and now I have a unique rare item in my collection. I'm really convinced that in a couple of hundred years, my descendents will probably auction off my iPod Mini for millions.
Now, Apple has release an iPod that does video. Sweet but then most of us just listen to music. So it's probably a gadget that you can buy for bragging rights. With all the mp3 players available on the market, yours will be the only one (to date) that does video. Sweet.
For my fans who actually love my rabblings (all 6 or 7 of you),I've not been blogging these pass few days cause I've been busy putting together material for a workshop, attending meetings and blasting ships on a Homeworld 2 demo. Plus, the fact that tBlog was down yesterday (again). But I'm loyal to something that has tried to keep me happy (if not popular) for the passed three years. tBlog, please get your act together.
I'm knocking around a thought which I'll put up next week. Something to do with our perceptions on insanity. So watch this blog.
Till then I'm really wondering whether shelling out USD300 is worth it for something that plays video....nah I need a new TV so I'm putting my money on one of those 29 inch sets. In the latest twist of bad luck, my tv was also blown to tv-heaven by the recent lightning strike which took out almost my whole family of electronic gadgets.
So now my shopping list for Christmas is out the window cause all that money is going to repairing my PS2, my dead iMac, getting a new colour printer, a ADSL modem, a router switch, Astro DMT and a new tv set.
Cheers!
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| Another sleepless night |
| 10.09.05 (9:55 pm) |
Ryan kept me up the last night. He now has developed a habit of waking up once every hour. This is bad for his working parents. I skip lunch hour today to sleep in. I had a meeting at 9am and am sitting in another one now.
He has recently recovered from a fever and slowly getting back to his normal self. Sigh, I wonder what it will be like once the second one comes.
Wifey and I are now waiting for the second one to come in late May. Yup, another little one is on the way. Wifey has started to crave odd things; during Ryan's time, she did not have that much craving. This time she is craving for stuff like crab and ham-burgers.
Well, I've to get back to my meeting.
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| Mother Nature's wrath |
| 10.06.05 (10:05 pm) |
I'm worried for my PS2. It may have been fried by a freak power surge yesterday. It seems that everything is blowing up at home nowadays.
Sigh, my iMac also took a hit and hopefully the fuse took the blow rather then the circuit board.
I blame the housing developers who have been clearing the areas around my home for the lightning strikes. Since there are no tall trees left, the highest points are the rooftops of houses. Its a scary thing but I think my home will get hit more often now then before.
Mother nature seems to be hitting back these past few months.
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| Down by One; AP issue dead |
| 10.04.05 (10:02 pm) |
Finished reading a book today in the office. Yes, it is a slow day for me. My development machine (PC) is still in the docks from the mysterious network flu. I personally went over to the Data Center to check up on what they were doing about this problem. I did not get a satisfactory answer so I am still on my own on this one.
I was watching the Parlimen Session highlights on tv last night. It was the day the Minister of Trade had to answer questions on the AP issue that has been the talk of the town. She fiercely defended herself and to some extent was ready to pick a fight. What bothered me was the fact that she did not really give an answer to some of the matters raised.
What puzzled me more were the actions of some other Member of Parliment who actually apologized to the Deputy Prime Minister for seemingly supporting the Oppositions call for the Trade Minister to be investigated.
Why apologize for something that is right?
Which makes me to conclude that those in power are looking out for themselves and not those that voted them into power. Which also invites this observation that I got from reading an Edward de Bono book.
Of all the process which man controls, the process of electing our leaders is thrown to chance. Why is it not controlled? To allow for people to make a choice of who they deemed the best possible candidate to represent their needs, wants and struggles. It is a game of chance, much like when you throw dice at a casino. If you throw it often enough, you may strike the jackpot. But at all times the house has the upper-hand.
We may vote as many times as we can in our lifetime but the chances of electing the best person for the job may just come once. At all times the political party holds the calling cards. In Malaysia, it is the ruling party that holds that card.
So seeing how these elected ones waver in the face of such debates is revolting. The AP issue was deemed over eventhough some feel that pressing questions were not address or answered properly. So much for their brovado when calling the Trade Minister to answer their questions, when the person in question turned up they switched camps and supported her stance.
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| Stop the torture |
| 10.02.05 (10:02 pm) |
Insane Girl is listening to music you would normally hear:
1) during take-offs and landings. Music that they'll play at your funeral if the plane crashes.
2) in hotel elevators and hotel lobbies.
3) in asylums. Music devoid of words so that you will not receive messages from Mars.
She obviously has that player on repeat since the same music has been playing since she stepped into the office. Is this a move to irritate fellow office mates to the point that we all resign? Thus, leaving her with all the office space she secretly desires?
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| Monday madness |
| 10.02.05 (5:15 pm) |
No I am not going mad, I just thought it'll make a nice blog heading.
I have come to think that my weekdays are taken up managing chaos. Isn't it so? All we do (at times) is to bring order into a set of chaotic situations. We organize daily routines to justify why we need a paycheck at the end of the month and shun those that have practically nothing to do.
So I am sitting in my cubicle looking at a pile of organized mess-es that someone else could not organize and which ended up on my desk. Yup, it is my official (paid) job to make sense of all these things and bring some order to them. Sigh...
Today, I am going to rebel and just relax, since there is nothing much fof me to do while my office production workstation is still in the docks.
Insane Girl threw me a comment which is either a joke or her way of taking a jab at me. I came into office late (I've informed my manager, I'll be late) and the one thing Insane Girl can say to me is, "So early?".
Er...is that a joke, a point to prove she came in earlier than me, a remark, a compliment or merely the only thing her feeble mind can utter on Monday mornings?
So, I gave her the typical answer I'd normally give to amoeba-like organisms , "Yup".
Sometimes the best policy, is to just to agree with people like that. Kills the conversation and releases you from making a stupid attempt of explaining yourself.
So will she sucker up to The Boss and tell on me? Oh, just bring it on!
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